Women have a sixth sense and it becomes extremely acute after a woman gives birth. From my twenty years of practice I have observed, that most women do not trust their intuition. I have found that when my clients feel comfortable with me and tune into their gut feelings about themselves and their children, that ultimately, their initial feelings are the correct ones. When my clients are able to be to tell me what their ‘inner voice’ is saying, it makes my job as a lactation consultant and homeopath easier and allows us to come up with quicker and less stressful solutions for their problems. Unfortunately, most moms tend to push away or minimize their intuitive thoughts and rarely tune into them when it comes to making decisions. They may sincerely feel one way but then are easily swayed by their doctors, advertising or peer pressure. Since there isn’t a step-by-step guide for becoming a parent, the most important gift you can give to your children is to trust your instincts.
Why is it so difficult for some moms to be strong and hold fast to their initial gut feelings, rather than give in to those around them? It is because most of us have spent our lives pushing away our instinctive feelings in order to be accepted and given approval by people around us.
Children on the other hand, are naturally intuitive. They can clearly state their likes and dislikes and can quickly ascertain whether they like or dislike people they meet. However, the problem arises when busy adults, who are constantly navigating the many different and complex social events in their lives, ignore their children’s gut feelings. In this case, children unfortunately walk away with the message that their first intuitive feeling is incorrect, not valid and unimportant; which is an impression that most of us carry into adulthood.
So why is it important to learn to tune into our gut feelings? Because they are usually correct! It’s like meeting a new co-worker who gives us a creepy ‘vibe’, but since we’ve been programmed to dismiss our first feelings, we talk ourselves into liking the person. Then when that new co-worker turns around and gets us into trouble we say in retrospect, “I knew this person was not someone I could trust.” As another example, have you ever had an initial feeling that a teacher would not be good for your child? And rather than going with our intuition, you accept that they teacher will be fine? It’s easier to push away your feelings and allow your child to stay in the class. Yet months later you might find that you were right all along and your child/teacher never developed a bond. How do we begin to listen to our inner voice? It is challenging and often difficult to redevelop our intuitive skill after having worked so hard to dismiss it. Below are a few suggestions that will begin to make your intuitive-self more available and allow it to become a trusted friend once again.
Advice to moms for themselves:
- Stay in the present moment and try not to think about a hundred things at one time.
- When you enter a new environment take a moment to look around—notice things like the color of the walls, decorations, smells and lighting.
- Continually stop and ask yourself how you feel in any given environment.
- When you meet someone new, ask yourself what your first impression is.
- Stop pushing away your true feelings and experience what you are really feeling.
- Check in with yourself during the day and begin to understand how things affect you, and how influenced you are by those around you.
Advice for moms to help foster and support their child’s intuitive self:
- Always ask your children how they are feeling, and really listen to their answers.
- Don’t just dismiss your child’s thoughts even if you disagree.
- If your children say they are scared or uncertain, don’t just tell them they shouldn’t feel that way; allow them to explain their feelings.
- Thank your child for telling you their true feelings and tell them how important those feelings are.
- You don’t always have to give into their feelings; just acknowledging them will allow your children to continue to develop their intuitive-self, be comfortable with it, and allow their gut feelings to be a part of their adult lives.
Begin to teach your children from a young age that what they are feeling and observing is good and safe. That doesn’t mean that if your child would rather have ice cream instead of her salad that we need to ‘honor’ her request! It means that if your child feels scared, you should take the opportunity to talk to her about it, rather than just say, “Oh, there is not anything to be scared about.” You are still the parent and have adult judgment that is more developed than your child’s, but feelings need to be acknowledged. Allow your child to foster, acknowledge and feel proud of the gift of intuitiveness that she has been given.
By Sara Chana Silverstein, IBCLC, BA, Herbalist and Student of Homeopathy. She is a licensed Lactation Consultant helping women and babies with breastfeeding problems. She also works with children and adults with chronic ear and strep infections, stomach problems and emotional issues. She can be reached at 718-467-1455.